Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
