Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
