So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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