Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
