i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
