who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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