Plan B is the new Plan A
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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