Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
