i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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