shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
