Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
