Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
