did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Jerry, you need to find god
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
