i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
