Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
