just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
