is your mom at the bar?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
