Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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