I'm jealous of your bromance
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
