where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
