I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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