he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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