If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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