he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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