redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
