and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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