and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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