Where is the hickey?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
