Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize