I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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