WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
