After last night, I could never be a politician.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows