just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.