I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
