So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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