How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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