I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
