ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
