he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Pooping to opera.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
