4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
