is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The struggles of a small town man whore
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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