And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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