that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
