Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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