Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We're too hungover to prance.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
