Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
