Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
