So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
