Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
