Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
