There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize