from now on my penis is your penis
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
