OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
