He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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