Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
