So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
