O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
