i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
