i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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