we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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